One Night
by AllAboutTheWriting
Summary: Kathy truly believed it was his, hadn't she? Well, maybe it wasn't so much a belief as a frantic hope. [PostScrewed]
1. Chapter 1

**One Night**

Summary: Kathy truly believed it was his, hadn't she? Well, maybe it wasn't so much a belief as a frantic hope. (Post-Screwed)

A/N: Hmm, so, I'm attempting to work out of my hiatus. I have about three stories started, but this one seems to have the best potential in my opinion. This chapter is incredibly short, so consider it a... teaser. If I feel inspired and maybe get a couple of reviews, I'll probably continue with this. So, read and review, pretty please? (:

Disclaimer: What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-;

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_One night. That's all I ask for. I don't get much sleep as it is, so why am I always first on Cragen's speed dial when he gets a case in the middle of the night? Is just one full night of peace and quiet too much to ask for?_

Elliot groaned into his pillow, the answer shrilly invading his ears with each high-pitched beep. Blindly fumbling in the dark, he finally managed to wrap his fingers around the offending object. He resisted the impulse to crush his cell phone into pieces and flipped it open.

"'llo?" He muttered, trying to rub his face awake with his free hand.

The shriek that replied did more to wake the detective then all the coffee in the world could at the moment. "Daddy!"

Elliot bolted out of bed and started pulling his pants on in one swift motion, preparing to run out the door. He'd know that voice anywhere, but he'd never heard that type of fear and alarm in it.

"Lizzie, what's the matter baby girl?"

"I-It's Mom," she choked out. "Her water broke, but then she started bleeding a-and yelling, b-but I don't know what to do."

The color left Elliot's face in a second, making his skin almost translucent. He listened carefully to the line on the other end of his phone and managed to hear Kathy's screams over his 13-year-old's congested sobs.

"Where's Kat?" He unintentionally barked out the question, realizing he wasn't even attempting to remain placid at this point.

"She went over t-to a friend's house, and Dickie's trying to help mom. Please Daddy, she keeps saying it hurts and that she needs to get to a hospital. I don't know what to do!"

The detective cursed himself under his breath, recognizing that Elizabeth had sensed his lack of composure and was quickly losing her own. All his years of training were kicking himself for it as he checked his watch.

"Lizzie, you're gonna have to take a deep breath and relax for me, can you do that?" When he heard a deep whoosh of air, but nothing else, he assumed that she had nodded her head in agreement. A little smile crossed his lips as he knew she had a habit of doing that when they talked. "Okay, I'm on my way over right now, and I should be out there in about ten minutes, all right? I need you and your brother to stay as calm as you can. Grab some towels from the bathroom and try to slow down the bleeding. Talk to your mom and try to keep her as calm as possible, and don't move her. Can you do that, baby?"

"Y-Yeah Daddy. Just hurry!"


	2. Chapter 2

**One Night**

**A/N: **Wow! I'm so glad that you guys, at least the ones that reviewed, like this so far! With five reviews for a little more than 500 words, I'll definitely continue with this. Okay, so, I know I promised longer chapters, but first I have to get past a few flashbacks. There's only one more after this, I think. (Oh, and, for the record, unless it says otherwise, like this one, consider the chapter in the present day, 'kay?) This is a missing scene, if you will, from the episode _Screwed_. If you want to see the set-up for this, go here - **nbc(dot)com/Law&Order:SpecialVictimsUnit/video/#mea110679** - to watch the clip. (You can also go here - **nbc(dot)com/Law&Order:SpecialVictimsUnit/video/#mea101707** - to see the "night" that Elliot talks about. I'd recommend it. You get to see his "waning crescent." xD) And, uh, duh, change the (dot)'s to an actual dot, . , 'kay?

**Disclaimer: **What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-; I'm also messing with the timeline so that it works better with my story, m'kay?

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**Seven months earlier…**

_ "Elliot, I'm pregnant."_

His eyes suddenly glossed over as he began processing what his ex-wife had just told him. A glance at her expression and a review of the entire speech she's just given told him said that she wasn't kidding. Too bad, he could have used some laughter at that moment.

"How… pregnant?"

She narrowed her eyes at him in annoyance and folded her arms across her chest. "I know it's been awhile since the twins, but I at least assumed that you'd still remember how this whole having-a-baby thing goes. You're either pregnant or you're not."

Elliot sighed, bringing his hand up to his neck to try and massage away some of the stress he was currently feeling. When he realized it wasn't working, he kept as much of his composure as he could and spoke again.

"No, I mean how far along are you?"

No less annoyed, in fact, even more so than before, she looked in the air and did some quick calculations in her head.

"About two months," she finally resolved. "It's also been about two months since we last spoke and since our last night together." She was staring daggers into him, visibly pissed beyond all appeasement. "Just how long were you planning on avoiding me?"

_Oh, not too long. Just until one of us died. Or until you completely forgot about me. Not very long._

"I wasn't avoiding you," he insisted, meeting her glare.

"Damn it, Elliot! Don't give me that 'tough cop' routine," she pointed accusingly. "I'm your wife. I know you better than that."

"_Ex_-wife," he growled, correcting her. "You made damn sure of that, remember?"

Elliot knew exactly what he was doing. It was what he was best at, after all. He was starting another battle, purposely pushing all her buttons, in order to sidestep the real problem. He knew in the back of his mind that they had to discuss things, especially with a baby on the way, but he just couldn't face that conversation. Not now, not with all the other tension going on with Darius Parker's trial. Until he was ready, he'd fight. It was the one thing in his life that he'd managed to perfect to an art.

However, Kathy didn't bite this time. Instead of growing angrier with him, her face softened. He recognized that look and knew she was right. She did know him better than that.

"El," her voice pleaded. "Don't do this right now. I need you." When she noticed that her appeals were not working, she made a last ditch effort to get through to him. She moved forward, grabbed Elliot's hand, and placed his hand over her stomach. "Our _baby_ needs you."

He didn't say anything at first, but simply stared at his hand. Just when she was about to give up hope, Elliot looked up, his eyes glistening.

"I'm sorry, Kath. I can't."

She shook her head in confusion. "Can't what?"

"I can't come back home." His hand dropped down to his side and he turned away his gaze. "I'm sorry," he repeated softly. "I can't just come back home and pretend like everything is okay when we both know that it's not."

"We can make it okay! We can work it out," she insisted, her voice rising. "I thought that's what we were trying to do two months ago."

Elliot sat on the closest bed and ran his hands over his head. He knew she wouldn't give up and leave him alone. Though she did a much better job of controlling and hiding it, he knew that she could be just as stubborn as him when she wanted.

"I'm not in love with you anymore," he admitted at last, studying the hardwood floor beneath his feet.

Kathy felt like she'd just been slapped in the face. Feeling her legs begin to shake, she grabbed onto one of the poles holding together the bunk bed closest to her. This was her worst nightmare come to life. She assumed that somewhere in the back of her mind she had always known, and from that had sprung the fear that one of these days he'd actually admit it.

"W-working it out," she muttered again. Kathy clung to those words as if they were all she had left. Perhaps if she kept repeating them, it'd fix something. It'd be able to bring back at least an essence of her old life, the life she so desperately wanted again.

"We weren't working it out," he replied, his look still captured by some invisible object between his feet. "I shouldn't have stayed that night I came by to see the kids. What happened that night…" his voice cracked, betraying his seemingly calm demeanor. "I was upset over the case we were working and the last thing I wanted to do was go home to my empty apartment, so when you asked me to stay… I just didn't want to be alone."

It killed him to admit it, but everything he was saying was the truth, for once. Pathetically enough, he hadn't even come to terms with reality on his own. He'd needed the, in most cases, rather obtrusive help of his 18 year old daughter, Kathleen. During one of the late nights he'd spent with Kathy, he ran into Kat down in the kitchen. Granted, the last thing he wanted to hear, especially from her, was that he was only using his ex-wife as a "booty call," but as he thought about it that night with Kathy cradled in his arms, he knew it was true. He wasn't really in love with her anymore. The sex was just his way of clinging to his family and the last bit of true human contact he had.

As Kathy listened to Elliot speak, her desperateness quickly morphed into fury. _"I I I." Is that all he can think about, himself? He's not the one who's pregnant and already raising three kids on his own. He's not the one who was just-_

"Kath?" He interrupted her thoughts, watching her from his perch on the bed. It didn't take more than a minute for him to notice the fire in her expression.

"You sonofabitch!" She growled, storming forward and striking his face with the back of her hand. "You don't think you could have mentioned that before you knocked me up?"

The detective was so shocked by the stinging of his cheek and Kathy's choice of words that he merely watched, mouth agape, as she stormed out of the crib and slammed the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

Eep, has it really been that long since I updated? -hides in the corner- So I left this on an unofficial hiatus, but now that it's summer and I'm bored again, I'm gonna try and keep up with this story. (And sorry if the end's a bit rushed, I wanted to get this up tonight. Er.. this morning? o.O

**Disclaimer: **What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-; I'm also messing with the timeline so that it works better with my story, m'kay?

* * *

**Lyk, omg, i ttly forget what happened!?**

Chapter 1

_Elliot bolted out of bed and started pulling his pants on in one swift motion, preparing to run out the door. He'd know that voice anywhere, but he'd never heard that type of fear and alarm in it._

_"Lizzie, what's the matter baby girl?"_

_"I-It's Mom," she choked out. "Her water broke, but then she started bleeding a-and yelling, b-but I don't know what to do."_

Chapter 2

_Seven months earlier…_

_"I'm not in love with you anymore," he admitted at last, studying the hardwood floor beneath his feet._

_"Kath?" He interrupted her thoughts, watching her from his perch on the bed. It didn't take more than a minute for him to notice the fire in her expression._

_"You sonofabitch!" She growled, storming forward and striking his face with the back of her hand. "You don't think you could have mentioned that before you knocked me up?"_

_The detective was so shocked by the stinging of his cheek and Kathy's choice of words that he merely watched, mouth agape, as she stormed out of the crib and slammed the door behind her._

* * *

**Present day...**

Elliot subconsciously rubbed his cheek with the palm of his free hand as he sat in the hospital waiting room, recalling the moment he'd found out about his latest baby. His other arm was wrapped around his youngest daughter's shoulders, as it had been since the moment they'd settled in the dingy, plaid blue cotton chairs scattered throughout the room. If the material weren't enough proof of their underwhelming quality, the dull ache forming in Elliot's lower back certainly was.

However, with both of the twins finally having given in to an exhausted slumber and no longer requiring his long strings of comforting words and thoughts, he had retreated into his own mind, paying no attention to present reality.

Thoughts and memories raced through his mind like cars on a highway, and he was stranded on the shoulder, only able to watch them go by. Even the slowest he could only watch for a minute or so before it had disappeared.

It went without saying that after their encounter in the crib, Kathy and Elliot had simply accepted the dissolution of their marriage. They finalized their divorce through their respective lawyers and things had gone so smoothly throughout the process that all Elliot had to do was sign a fresh batch of the papers that he had struggled so long to sign the first time. He was never told what happened to the originals, but he didn't ask. It was probably easier that he didn't know that Kathy had put off mailing them, and after the last night they had spent together, she'd torn them into pieces.

They didn't speak for weeks, and the entire 1-6 saw how horribly it was affecting him. Any temperament issues he had before were practically doubled in severity, he spent every waking moment at the precinct, taking only a few sporadic hours out to sleep enough to keep going, and he'd willing requested himself off of any cases involving children. Everyone had given up on trying to talk to him and just spent the days trying not to set him off on another rampage.

The day he and Olivia were thrown a case of a baby abandoned on a doorstep, however, something in Elliot finally snapped for the better. He took the rest of the day off and convinced Kathy to meet him for lunch at a little café just a few blocks from her house. Though the woman had the same dark golden hair cut just below her chin and deep hazel eyes that his ex-wife adorned, Elliot could hardly recognize her otherwise. She was distant and cold, rarely met his eyes, and seemed to be thinner than he last recalled.

Aside from shooting down every concern about her own well-being, things went as well as Elliot could have expected under the circumstances. They talked about details surrounding custody agreements, how the baby and other kids were doing, and Elliot gave every word and promise that he would be there for her and the baby, along with the other kids, from then, when he was born, and for the rest of its life. It seemed to comfort her some, but still appeared completely detached from him, from the baby, and from everything.

He'd also noticed that not once during the couple of hours they spent together that afternoon, she hadn't even acknowledged her stomach. Though it was still flat and showed no signs of the baby inside, for every other pregnancy, Elliot recalled her constantly cradling it, from the moment she found out she 

was expecting. However, he shrugged it off, wanting to focus more on not screwing things up any more than he already had, which, though it seemed difficult, wasn't unheard of with him.

The months had gone by fairly uneventful, as Kathy had made it clear she wanted nothing more to do with him. Even Kathleen had to drive herself and the twins over to his apartment every other weekend. They'd also bring him the occasional sonogram from Kathy's appointments, and heard nothing but good reports about her and the baby, so he decided to respect her space. After everything that happened, it felt he owed her at least that much.

As he waited for news from the surgeon about Kathy and their unborn child, however, he wondered if he had made a mistake in doing so. After three perfect pregnancies and four deliveries, a woman didn't just suddenly begin hemorrhaging when her water broke with baby number five, did she?

Before an onslaught of what-ifs began invading his thoughts, he pushed his mind into the past again.

He didn't even realized another half an hour had passed until he heard Kathleen shout his name and felt her weight fall against his chest. He wrapped an arm around her and looked up to find Maureen and Olivia standing in the middle of the room as well.

"Kat… Maur…" he whispered, motioning for the oldest to join in the embrace. As she settled in the empty seat next to him and rested her head on his shoulders, her father glanced up at his partner and gave her a look of complete gratitude. She simply gave him a somber smile in return, and pulled up a seat next to Dickie, who'd been awakened by the sudden noise.

"Hey kiddo, how's it going?" She shook her hand over his head, further messing up the hair style that had lost most of its shape by that point anyway. He wearily answered her, and the two struck up an awkward conversation, if only to avoid the silence and Elliot's conversation with the girls.

"Daddy, what happened?" Kathleen asked, but Maureen was just as eager to hear the answer, both of their faces red and tearstained, telling Elliot that they already knew enough to know that the situation wasn't good.

"Your mom… Her water broke and she started hemorrhaging. They took her in for surgery a while ago, said that she was going to need a c-section… But I haven't heard anything from her doctors yet."

"She's gonna be okay though, right? And the baby too? They're gonna be fine…" Lizzie had woken up as well, staring at her father with a cautiously hopeful gaze.

Having no idea himself, Elliot answered with the only thing he had to fall back on any more, his faith. "I'm praying for them baby. Would you like to pray for them too?"

Lizzie nodded, but before Elliot could speak, Maureen stood up and cleared her throat. "There's a chapel down on the first floor. I can take all the kids down there."

"But what about Mom?!" Lizzie demanded, narrowing her eyes at her eldest sister.

"I have my cell, so Dad can call us if we're not back before she gets out of surgery. Besides, it's just right downstairs, Liz."

Her shoulders rose and fell in a reluctant sigh before she nodded again. After a few hugs, I-love-you's, and the promise that he'd call them the second he heard anything, the four finally left for the chapel.

"How're you holding up?" The soft, sympathetic voice of his partner traveled to his ears and he realized that he was sitting back down in his chair, and she had taken up residence next to him.

"I don't even know." He leaned forward, cupping his face in the palms of hands.

Unsure of what to do, Olivia bit her lip in contemplation of what to do or say. Relying on her gut, she started swirling her hand over his back and tried to reassure him. "I'm sure she's gonna be fine, El. I'm sure they both will."

Neither made any motion to leave or say anything else, so the pair simply sat there, unconcerned with anything or anybody around them.

* * *

After no more than a few minutes, a strong voice broke through the silence. "Is there an… Elliot Stabler here?"

The two detectives quickly rose to meet the doctor, the first words leaving Elliot's mouth asking about Kathy and the baby. The doctor quickly assured him that they were both in stable condition and that Kathy was going to be perfectly fine, and the baby was completely healthy.

"I can take you to see them now, but there's just a quick question with her paperwork… Kathy had you listed at the next of kin, but she doesn't have your relation to her filled in." He pointed to an indeed empty box on her charts.

"I'm her ex-husband," he replied, slowly, still ashamed of the fact. "And that's my baby."

Confusion filled the doctor's face at the last bit of information. "You're the father? Are you sure?"

Elliot matched this confusion with rage. "What the hell do you mean? Of course I am. Now, can I go see them now?"

"Of course Detective, right this way." He stood to the side and swept an arm out, signaling for him to walk forward.

"Liv, can you-"

She placed a tender hand on his arm and nodded. "You go El. I'll get the kids and have them meet you."

For the second time that night, he flashed her a thankful, solemn smile before following the doctor to Kathy's room.

They stopped in front of a room and the doctor slowly opened the heavy door for him. "Here they are, Detective. Kathy is still unconscious from the anesthetic, but your son is doing just fine."

A surprised, sincere smile passed over his face for a moment. "Son?" At the doctor's nod and encouraging, Elliot stepped inside. As the door clicked behind him, his eyes scanned the room.

Suddenly, his eyes widened as they locked on a figure in the room. Before he could even process the situation, his mouth dropped open in shock. "Oh my God…"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **No, I didn't forget about this story yet again. My friends talked me into reading Twilight, so I was stuck in that world for a while. (I was only reading the books about 10 of the time, but had I written anything, it would have ended up including vampires and werewolves, so, yeah. Sorry!) Oh, and, nice guesses reviewers, but stop guessing! Someone _always_ guesses right and makes me feel sad and predictable. ): But ty for the reviews. Ily. :

**Disclaimer: **What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-; I'm also messing with the timeline so that it works better with my story, m'kay?

* * *

**Flashback:**

_They stopped in front of a room and the doctor slowly opened the heavy door for him. "Here they are, Detective. Kathy is still unconscious from the anesthetic, but your son is doing just fine."_

_A surprised, sincere smile passed over his face for a moment. "Son?" At the doctor's nod and encouraging, Elliot stepped inside. As the door clicked behind him, his eyes scanned the room._

_Suddenly, his eyes widened as they locked on a figure in the room. Before he could even process the situation, his mouth dropped open in shock. "Oh my God…"_

* * *

Kathy was in the middle of the room on the standard hospital bed, hooked up to a few beeping machines and looking fairly peaceful as she slept. Just as the blanket and gown that covered her, the entire room was a white dingy color, save for a few spots of color scattered all around.

At the moment however, Elliot's gaze was transfixed on the little bassinet next to his ex-wife that was supposed to be carrying his newborn son. What should have been a glowing expression upon his face, full of fatherly pride, however, started out as confusion and quickly grew into bewilderment.

The beautiful baby boy in front of him was swaddled in a white blanket and donned a tiny blue hat, but his face was clearly visible, along with the fact that his skin was a rich chocolate color.

Having seen many newborn children in his lifetime, Elliot knew that they weren't always born with their permanent skin pigment, and could easily grow lighter or darker over time. Staring down at the sleeping baby in front of him, however, every conscious part of his mind screamed that this was, in fact, not one of those cases.

A sudden doubt washed over him and Elliot started to think that perhaps he was just so exhausted that his eyes were just playing tricks on him. Grasping the soft cotton hat on the baby's head, he tenderly tugged it off, only to reveal that the brown pigment continued on his head, along with a few clumps of fine black hair already covering it.

His brows furrowed as he grabbed the blanket wrapped around him, and, though still with the gentleness a newborn required, he hastily pulled it down to the baby's waist, proving his eyes right the first time.

He picked up the child's tiny arm between his thumb and forefinger, slightly turning it to read the hospital bracelet on its wrist. It confirmed that he was Kathy's baby.

If Elliot thought his mind was racing before, he didn't even know how to describe what was going on inside his head now. His eyes narrowed in deliberation and shock as Elliot felt them begin to water. Before he could even pretend he knew how to organize the millions of thoughts and feelings plaguing him, the sound of a baby's cries shattered through the haze.

The newborn had finally become aware of its lack of covering and was not happy about it. Elliot shook his head a few times, as if shaking away his thoughts for the moment, and let himself fall into parent mode. Cradling its head, he carefully picked up the baby and wrapped the blanket back around its shoulders. He also managed to place his hat back on his head with only one hand, though a little haphazardly at that, allowing a few stray tufts of black hair to stick out from underneath it.

"Shh…" He softly cooed to the baby as he gently swayed him back and forth in his cradled arms. "It's okay… It's gonna be okay…" he repeated over and over, each time unsure as to whether he was assuring himself or the baby.

After a few minutes, just as the baby's wails had finally begun subsiding, another voice quietly pierced the air.

"El?" The detective glanced over to see Kathy feebly attempting rub the grogginess out of her eyes.

"Hey Kathy…" Elliot warily offered, still rocking the little boy.

"Is that our baby?" A strained smile faintly flashed across her face as she looked at the bundle in her ex-husband's arms.

"It's your baby, yeah," he replied, unintentionally putting a little too much emphasis on the _your._

She instantly shifted her gaze downwards and began needlessly flattening the creases in the thin linen blanket covering her legs. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

He crossed his eyes at her and paced forward. "I dunno. Why don't you tell me whose baby this is?"

Her eyes shot up to meet his, instantly filled with fury. "Why in the hell would you even ask me that right now?"

"This." Elliot had finally made it to Kathy's bed, an indistinguishable expression on his face, and showed the baby to Kathy.

She gave him a quick glance before locking stares with Elliot again. "What about-" She stopped short and wrinkled her brows in confusion for a moment, and looked back at her baby. Within seconds, her eyes grew wider than Elliot had ever recalled seeing them. A look of fear and panic flashed over her face and she shrieked, causing the detective to jump and the baby to resume its wailing.

Elliot cradled the baby to his chest and slowly backed up, watching as Kathy lost control.

"That's not my baby!" She howled, pounding her hands into the mattress and shaking her head. "No! It's not mine, no!" Helpless, Elliot watched her repeat the same things over and over again, with no idea what to do.

* * *

"Is she okay, Dad?" Elliot looked around at the four pairs of expectant eyes that had suddenly joined him in the hallway outside of Kathy's room, unsure who asked the question.

"Yeah," he offered with an artificial smile. "She's still sleeping from the anesthesia, but she's gonna be just fine." Placing his hand on the top of his youngest daughter's head, he let it fall, caressing her cheek and letting it come to rest on her shoulder.

"And the baby?"

"He's great. Just great." In that moment Elliot could not have been more grateful for all his years as a detective, years spent perfecting his acting. Or, at least, perfecting his lying.

"He? I have a little brother? Yes!" Dickie pulled back his fist in celebration before looking up at his dad with excitement glittering in his eyes. "When can we see him?"

"Later," he answered, a little too quickly. His head was spinning too much to have to deal with all of this right now. "They just have to check him out some more and keep him down in the maternity ward for a little while. And I know for a fact they don't allow this many people in a patient's room at once, so why don't you kids go see your mom for a few minutes, and then we'll head home, okay?"

He darted down the hall so quickly that he never noticed the suspicious look that passed between his two older daughters.

Once he caught up with his wife's doctor, he stole a glance back to make sure that his kids were safely inside the room before he inadvertently hissed an order at him.

"I want a paternity test._ Now_."

The man's lips pursed together in awareness. After the detective had reacted so strong to his question of whether or not he was the father, he assumed that he was already aware that the boy wasn't biologically his, or that he had no clue. Of course, there was always the slim chance that…

"I'd be more than happy to have a nurse administer one, Detective Stabler, but you should know that there is the possibility that he-"

"Look," Elliot's teeth clenched together in unfocused anger. "I know about the possibilities, that's why I want the damn test."

"Of course," he quickly agreed, running his fingers through his gelled hair. "I send a nurse down to get a DNA sample from you," he muttered, quickly striding to the stairwell, not even willing to wait for the elevator.

Elliot deeply sighed as he stood alone, stares from patients and nurses piercing the wary bubble around him. Though they'd attempted to talk Kathy down as she continued to wail about the baby, the nurses were left with no choice but to call someone in to administer a sedative.

He knew that her behavior was absurdly out of character for his ex-wife, even with the hormones coursing through her body after delivering a baby, but for once he couldn't make himself care. Amongst exhaustion and rage, he only saw one possible explanation. Kathy had slept with someone else and when he'd knocked her up, she ran back to her ex-husband.

_And to think,_ he scoffed to himself,_ that I've been unbearable these past months, thinking I was abandoning _my_ child._

A bitter laugh began to build in his throat when a familiar voice caught his attention.

"What's wrong?"

Elliot closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before turning around to face Olivia. And, sure enough, the same sympathetic expression he'd become too accustomed to in the past couple of hours was plastered on her face. Though he tried to suppress his frustrations, knowing completely that they had nothing to do with her and she was just trying to help, he'd never taken sympathy well.

"Aside from the fact that my partner keeps breathing down my neck and just can't learn to back off? Everything. Everything is fucking _wrong_," he snarled, straining his head forward a bit as he attempted to intimidate her into leaving.

Unimpressed with the same tactics she'd been dealing with for months and months now, Olivia just raised an eyebrow in slight confusion and gave a small, exasperated sigh. "Okay El, that's fine." She held up her hands in surrender and shrugged. After taking only a few steps past him, she turned back around and stared at the back of his head. "Congratulations on the baby," she said softly after a few moments.

Olivia had already resumed her walk down the hallway when she heard Elliot give a despondent sigh and mumble something. She stopped, folding her arms, but refused to budge any further at the moment.

Behind her, Elliot was facing her back, wearily tossing his arms around, helpless to repeat the words he just said or find any other ones. After a too-long awkward silence, Elliot found his voice long enough to croak out his confession again.

"It's not mine."

His partner finally turned around, giving him a puzzled stare. "What do you-"

"The baby. Not mine." He looked down at the floor to hide the tears beginning to gather at the bottom of his eyes. The situation was wearing on him, the exhaustion toying with his emotions.

Olivia took a step forward, her expression softening. "But how do you-"

"It's black. Cute little thing," he muttered, sticking his hands in his pockets and averting his gaze to the wall, the ceiling, anything but Olivia. "Dark brown skin, bunch of thin black hair…"

She subtly craned her neck, attempting and failing to meet his gaze. "You know, babies' hair and skin color change a lot from the time they're born. It could just look…"

"I showed the baby to Kathy and she started screaming about how it wasn't hers." He finally looked up at her. "I think she has it backwards, though." His lips curled into a grimace.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I basically had to reach into my head with a pair of pliers to yank this chapter out within a reasonable time frame, so don't hate me if it's not that great. (continued at end of chapter..)

**Disclaimer: **What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-; I'm also messing with the timeline so that it works better with my story, m'kay?

* * *

**Flashback:**

_"It's black. Cute little thing," he muttered, sticking his hands in his pockets and averting his gaze to the wall, the ceiling, anything but Olivia. "Dark brown skin, bunch of thin black hair…"_

_She subtly craned her neck, attempting and failing to meet his gaze. "You know, babies' hair and skin color change a lot from the time they're born. It could just look…"_

_"I showed the baby to Kathy and she started screaming about how it wasn't hers." He finally looked up at her. "I think she has it backwards, though." His lips curled into a grimace._

* * *

"El…" Olivia's eyes fluttered over her partner's face, unable to drudge up even the most generic of comforting words. The back of her mind instantly strived to see the situation through Elliot's eyes in an attempt to empathize with him, but to no avail. She had no idea what she would do in his place. She could imagine, however, that having to deal with the onslaught of inevitable questions from his curious children was probably not on the top of his wish list.

"Mr. Stabler?" A fairly young nurse appeared next to the detectives. "If you could follow me back to an examination room…" She motioned behind her.

"You go, El," Olivia quickly offered. "I'll take the kids home for you."

His eyes, filling with appreciation, glanced up to meet hers, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "That'd be great, Liv. Thanks." He wondered how many more times he'd snap her off out of frustration when she was rarely the bad guy in any situation, or even close to it.

"'Course," she replied with a crooked half-smile of her own. "It's no problem."

The car ride back to Kathy's home with the kids, however, didn't completely live up to Olivia's assurance.

After they had all been guaranteed that their mother was perfectly healthy and would be home in a few days, the car had settled into a somewhat contented silence. Dickie was the first to break it with excited chatter about how he finally had the brother he'd always wanted, and all the things he'd teach him when he got older. Olivia's mind wandered, leaving her only able to catch a few parts of his animated monologue. It was only when he finally asked a question that the twin fully grasped her attention.

"Hey, Liv, I never got a chance to ask Dad, but what's his name?"

As four pairs of eyes landed on Olivia, she just desperately hoped that they were all focused on her blank stare and not on her hands as her knuckles turned white from gripping the steering wheel so fiercely.

"I dunno, Dickie," she offered with a shrug as she carefully worded her answer. "I didn't ask your dad either." It was true, she hadn't. Of course, she was pretty sure that the only name for the baby in Elliot's head at this point was "not mine."

"Oh," Dickie sighed as his brows furrowed in slight annoyance. It quickly passed though, as he continued his happy ramblings. Lizzie, who had remained silent out of disappointment that it wasn't a little sister, even joined in eventually, countering everything Dickie wanted to teach the baby with a future lesson of her own.

The twins soon faded to background noise as the two eldest Stabler children remained uncharacteristically and awkwardly silent. Well, awkward for Olivia, at least, considering she could still feel their gazes piercing her skull.

"So, Maur…"

"What's going on?" Her voice was so soft that Olivia had to catch sight of her intense expression to be sure she'd actually said anything. She opened her mouth, planning to feign ignorance, when she heard the severe whisper again. "Don't treat me like a child, Olivia. I'm not an idiot and I've seen the way you and my dad have been acting. What's wrong with the baby?"

"Nothing!" Olivia insisted a little too quickly.

One word was not enough to deter the college student at that moment. "Is he sick or something?"

"No, Maur, look…" The detective stole a quick glance in her rearview mirror before continuing, only to see the twins fully consumed by their conversation and Kathleen giving her the same glare. It didn't really surprise her to see they were cohorts in this sudden interrogation.

Allowing an expression of calmness and reassurance to settle on her face, Olivia looked back at Maureen, careful to keep a wary eye on the road. Her voice dropped to a whisper as she spoke under the sounds of the twins and the traffic. "Maureen, I promise you, nothing is wrong with the baby, all right? Yes, there _is_ something wrong," she quickly added before she could be interrupted, "but that's between your mother and father, who are also both just fine, but it's not my place to tell you. I'm sure they'll tell you when they're ready, but until then, I would just hope that you can help them as much as you can, and try not to worry your brother and sisters with whatever suspicions you may have." As she finished, she raised a cautioning eyebrow at Maureen, whose now sheepish gaze was focused on the car floor in front of her.

"Okay," she mumbled in defeat, having been reminded of her position as the oldest child, the role model, the "adult" her siblings looked up to when couldn't, or didn't, get the information they wanted out of other ones.

Kathleen hadn't heard much of Olivia's explanation to her sister, but one look at the two of them was enough to know that the subject had been dropped without much clarification, if any, and she remained silent.

Though Olivia knew her words were true, she still felt guilty that she had to use them. But what else could she do? It wasn't her place to tell them about Elliot's fears, and it wasn't their place to concern themselves with it, even if it was true. In an effort to forget her latest conversation, she focused on her one with Elliot. More specifically, on Kathy's behavior.

* * *

She didn't even know she'd fallen asleep until Olivia's head abruptly snapped up at the sound of a door slamming. Wincing as she massaged the back of her neck, she opened her eyes to see Elliot, or at least his torso at the current angle her head was, walking into the kitchen.

"Liv?"His voice was soft, as if the sight of his partner awkwardly catching up on sleep at his kitchen table had drained whatever emotion had caused the door slamming.

"Hey." The pain had finally subdued enough that she was able to glance up at him, tired eyes meeting tired eyes. "I dropped Maureen off at her dorm, and the rest are upstairs sleeping."

"And the hardwood table just looked too inviting to pass up?" He mildly teased, amusement flickering in his eyes.

"Well, yeah," she agreed, slowly getting to her feet. "So..?"

"Three days," he shrugged, answering the question she didn't need to speak. "I probably wouldn't need the test if I could get Kathy to talk to me, but that's probably not going to happen." The tone of his voice suggested the multiple reasons for his assumption, so she didn't press the issue.

Suddenly, his brow creased in confusion. Olivia shot him a questioning glance as he crossed his arms. "I just can't figure it out," he finally answered. "In every situation I can think of, the way she behaved when I showed her the baby… It doesn't make any sense." He shook his head, as if, by chance, it would shake together the pieces of the puzzle. "Do you have any idea why she acted like that?"

His partner shrugged and slipped her hands into the pockets of her slacks. "I have no idea," she lied, making her face match his confused expression.

* * *

The next morning Olivia walked into the 1-6 precinct, her mind still racing. She desperately wanted to pay Kathy a little visit in the hospital, but she still needed time to formulate a plan, to figure out exactly what she had to say and do. If she didn't get it right…

"Liv, how's your partner doin'?" Fin sat back in his chair, his foot thrown casually over his knee.

"He's… fine," she shrugged, sitting down at her desk and gazing across to the empty chair in front of her. Obviously Elliot would have taken time off of work to spend it with his new baby, but she doubted if he would have let anyone, even Cragen, in on the entire situation.

"So, how's the Biles case going?" She knew that bringing up that particular topic would switch their focus instantly. As if on cue, she heard a sigh behind her and turned to face Munch.

"What _he_ said," Fin added with a grumble, leaning forward and tapping a few buttons on his computer keyboard.

The case revolved around a twenty-five year old woman by the name of Andrea Biles. It had been a little over three weeks since a dog walker's charge had stumbled upon her half-naked body, which had been hastily shoved behind a dumpster.

Fin and Munch had caught the case, but had managed to piece together very little facts. They canvassed the area, interviewed family members and friends, and searched her apartment, but had little to show for it. They'd pieced together her last night, which was the day before her body was discovered.

Apparently, some friends had taken her to a bar to cheer her up after her engagement was called off, and they eventually left their disinclined friend behind. The few bar witnesses the detectives managed to drudge up all offered the same story, that she'd started talking to some guy at the bar and eventually left with him. However, each witness gave a completely different description of the man, leaving them with no further leads.

Not that they didn't hate to leave a case unsolved, but if Andrea were anyone else, the entire precinct agreed, behind closed doors, that they would certainly leave it cold. However, Andrea Biles just happened to be the daughter of Norman Biles, a very influential and high-profile man in the city. Basically, he had enough authority and money that Fin and Munch were stuck with the case until they solved it and every higher up from the Captain to the DA was on them about it. Nobody in the 1-6 envied them.

"I know every parent wants justice for their children, I mean, I want it too, but this guy is acting like finding the guy that did this will bring his daughter back." Munch was back at his desk, thumbing through the much worn Biles file. Olivia couldn't see his face, but she imagined that if she could, his eyes wouldn't even be on the documents.

"Hey Liv, since you just wrapped up that Anderson case, any chance of helping your favorite co-worker?"

"But Elliot has the day off," she offhandedly replied with a shrug and ducked her head to hide the small smirk on her lips.

Munch was about to come back with mock outrage when the metallic protest of door hinges being forced to action stopped him. All eyes turned to see the Captain standing in his doorway, a grave expression on his face. He pointed a finger at Olivia and pulled it back.

"Liv, my office, now."

Though confused at the mixed signals, that face usually meant trouble, but it was always paired with _Detective_ or _Benson_ or a combination of the two, but not _Olivia_, and certainly never _Liv_, she nodded and followed orders.

Cragen closed the door behind her, and as soon as they heard it click into place, he spoke.

"Elliot told me."

Keeping her face blank, Olivia warily met his gaze. "Elliot told you what?"

Perching himself on the corner of his desk, Cragen sighed and crossed his arms. It always irritated him that his two best detectives were more loyal to each other than to him and occasionally their jobs, but he also understood it. He didn't fully comprehend their relationship, though he knew that they didn't either, but he stillusually respected it whenever possible. Lately, though, he could sense subtle, but powerful, changes between the two detectives. Perhaps those changes were what caused Elliot to reach out for someone other than just Olivia this time…

"He thinks the baby might not be his. He's waiting for the results to the paternity test." For a moment, Cragen could have sworn that hurt flickered over Olivia's features for a brief moment before her expression went blank again.

"Did he tell you anything else?"

"You mean about how Kathy reacted when she saw the kid?" His own features darkened as he recalled Elliot's words. Towards the end of Elliot's marriage, a wall of unspoken animosity between Kathy and anything, people included, concerning his job. They knew she blamed Elliot's career choice for the failure of their marriage, and almost no one would try and argue that she was completely mistaken in her belief. However, Cragen knew that no one wished Kathy any harm and that everyone would be concerned if they knew what had happened.

"Any theories?" Olivia's eyes searched his face expectantly, as if hoping he'd reply with something she'd been desperate to hear.

The Captain quickly offered his thoughts and Olivia merely nodded and heaved an occasional sigh. "A part of me I hoped that I wasn't the only one who saw it… but I still wanted to be wrong." She forced a sad smile at him before turning her head to stare at the wall, giving her a moment to reign in her emotions.

Cragen placed his hand on her shoulder for a moment in a sympathetic gesture, and then slowly brought Olivia out of her reverie with a question she didn't even need him to ask.

"I'm going to go down to the hospital and talk to her. I know I've never been her favorite person, but I think I'm the best chance at getting anything out of her."

* * *

**A/N (cont.): **Yeah, I'm excited to write the next chapter, so it'll definitely pick up then. Promise. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** This is a longer than my other chapters, and I wanted to break it up into multiple chapters, but I didn't want to inundate my alerters' inboxes. So yeah, this chapter really just poured out of my fingers, and might seem a bit rough because of it, but I'm not a fan of second-guessing myself and severe proof-reading if I'm not getting a grade. ;)

**Disclaimer: **What I know about medicine and medical terms wouldn't even cover the head of a pin and my google skills leave much to be desired, so I basically made it up. Just bear with me. Oh, and I don't own SVU. I'd be wittier about it if I thought it'd change anything. ;-; I'm also messing with the timeline so that it works better with my story, m'kay?

* * *

**Flashback:**

_"Any theories?" Olivia's eyes searched his face expectantly, as if hoping he'd reply with something she'd been desperate to hear._

_The Captain quickly offered his thoughts and Olivia merely nodded and heaved an occasional sigh. "A part of me I hoped that I wasn't the only one who saw it… but I still wanted to be wrong." She forced a sad smile at him before turning her head to stare at the wall, giving her a moment to reign in her emotions._

_Cragen placed his hand on her shoulder for a moment in a sympathetic gesture, and then slowly brought Olivia out of her reverie with a question she didn't even need him to ask._

_"I'm going to go down to the hospital and talk to her. I know I've never been her favorite person, but I think I'm the best chance she's got."_

* * *

It made Olivia apprehensive, sometimes, how easily she could get just about anything she wanted with a flash of her badge. While it could be very useful in certain situations, like getting past doctors and nurses to surreptitiously confront your partner's ex-wife who just gave birth to a baby that obviously isn't his but then claims that it also isn't hers in what was easily comparable to a psychotic break…

Her rambling thoughts were stopped short as Olivia found herself suddenly at the door of Kathy's room. She was quickly going through a rough plan of how she imagined, or at least hoped, the conversation would go when she suddenly heard someone crying. As her eyes scanned around the hallway for the source, she realized that the crying was more like wailing, a baby's wailing.

The hospital was so noisy that she couldn't be sure that the cries were coming from behind the door in front of her, and yet, she was. Olivia felt a slight breeze against her arm and caught a small group of medical personnel hurriedly jogging past her. She was about to chase them in sudden burst of anger for not watching the mother and her new baby closer when she heard one of them mention something about a huge car pile-up just a few blocks away. Olivia continued to stare down the hall for another minute after the group had disappeared around a corner. Perhaps that's why she was granted such easy access without many questions.

She shook her head, braced herself, and hastily shoved the door open before she could give it a second thought. Her assumptions were correct; it _was_ Kathy's baby that was wailing. The new mother sat in the hospital bed, her arms crossed and her face contorted in fury as she glared at a bassinet that was a couple feet away from her. Quickly taking in the distance and strange angle of the bassinet to the bed, Olivia realized that Kathy had pushed it as far away from her as possible.

"Thank God," Kathy scoffed, running her hand through her tangled, dirty-blonde locks. "It's about time someone came to take care of-" The woman's sight finally locked onto Olivia and, though the detective wouldn't have thought it possible, she watched as Kathy's expression became even more irate. She could only guess that Kathy had originally mistaken her for a nurse. "What are _you_ doing here?" She growled, her eyes smoldering.

Olivia stood in place, frozen by a mixture of emotions, for only a moment before taking a few swift strides over to the bassinette and gently scooping up the howling child into her arms. After she promptly gave the baby boy a brief examination and diaper check, she came to the conclusion that the poor thing was physically fine, but apparently very hungry.

She didn't realize that she had been thinking aloud in a cooing voice at the baby until she heard Kathy's voice above the cries. "If you care so much about that damn thing, why don't _you_ feed it? Maybe that'll shut it up long enough so that I can sleep."

Olivia unconsciously began rocking the infant in her arms as she kept her eyes locked with Kathy's, struggling to keep her mouth from falling agape. This was not going even remotely as she'd planned.

"This is your _baby_," she finally sputtered, holding it toward Kathy for a second. "_You_ should feed him; he wants _you._"

"Well I don't fucking want _it_," she snarled in reply. "That… _thing_ ruined it! It ruined everything!" She looked forward, her eyes concentrated on nothing but air. Both women were silent for a moment, the baby's inconsolable howls the only noise in the room. Olivia took the time to compose herself, recalling, at once, her purpose in being there.

When Kathy spoke again, her voice was faint and trembling.

Olivia had to listen carefully to pick up what the other woman was saying, and she managed to catch the very end of her thought.

"… supposed to be Elliot's…"

In an attempt to soothe the baby the best she could without proper equipment, Olivia allowed the baby to suck on her finger, and he was finally quiet.

"Kathy," she spoke softly, more convinced than ever that her speculation was correct. It was also evident that it was going to be even harder than she thought to get Kathy to admit to anything. "What happened?" She soothingly encouraged her. "Tell me what happened."

The woman began blinking rapidly, tears spilling onto her hospital gown as she did so. She wasn't listening to Olivia anymore; Kathy had withdrawn into her own mind. She heard _him_, she heard that night, she heard her own thoughts, but not Olivia's questions. That is, until a single word caused one to finally pierce her consciousness.

"Were you raped?"

Kathy's head snapped up and her eyes instantly widened in disbelief. The disbelief was washed away with the more familiar and blind emotion of rage as her face flushed a deep crimson.

"Get out," she whispered fiercely, her voice still soft bar far from faint or trembling anymore.

Olivia suddenly grasped, too late, that springing the question on her like that was a bad idea. She hastily attempted to backtrack. "Kathy, I just-"

"_Get out!_" Kathy screeched, startling the baby in Olivia's arms and causing him to resume his bawling.

"But the baby," Olivia stammered, cradling him protectively against her chest.

"Just take it!" She shouted, vehemence woven throughout every word she spoke. "I never would have had that thing if I knew what it was! I want nothing to do with that _monster_!"

"It's just a baby," Olivia whimpered, hugging him tighter to her chest without thinking.

"It's just like _you_," Kathy spat. Elliot had confided in her about Olivia's parents after just finding out himself. She hadn't thought twice about it until she'd become pregnant. "I'd never raise that little monster so that he can grow up and ruin even more lives. You ruined my marriage and that thing ruined the rest of my life. It's just like you, so why don't you just take it and leave me alone in the horrible life that you two _demon spawn_ have managed to stick me with."

The next thing Olivia knew, she was outside of Kathy's room, baby still in hand. She sighed and leaned against the closed door. Rocking the baby, she stared at his face while he continued to wail. Even contorted in cries, Olivia saw the innocence and pureness in his face. She raised him up and held him so that his head was cradled in the crook between her neck and shoulder.

"You're not a monster," she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the back of his head.

Before she could stop them, she felt a rush of tears blur her vision. Softly bouncing the baby up and down, she didn't even bother trying to wipe away her tears as they fell.

Olivia was so attuned to the sound of the crying baby in her arms that she never heard the sobs coming from inside the room behind her.

* * *

Even as she'd been screaming the insults toward Olivia, a small part of Kathy felt extremely guilty. But all the other parts that felt hurt, anger, shame, grief, frustration, regret, and a million other emotions she couldn't put to words were overpowering any senses of guilt, reason, or compassion.

She should have known that that woman would figure out the truth. She knew Elliot would never have guessed the truth. He lived in his own idealistic world where no harm ever befell his family, especially _that_ kind, and all because he spent his life fighting against it, and it _never_ happens to the cop's family.

_It's _his_ fault that it ever happened,_ Kathy bitterly thought. _It's his fault that I'm in the hospital, it's his fault that I had that damn thing that doesn't even look like me, it's his fault that I was ever-_

Her mind cut off the rest of her thought. She hadn't even thought that word since it happened, much less spoken it or told anybody. As far as everyone, even her mother, knew, she was unquestionably pregnant with her fifth child by the same man that had given her the other four. Every time she told somebody that the baby was Elliot's, her mind would automatically run back over the same prayer again and again: _God, please let it be the truth._

She'd always been a woman of faith, but she could only be kicked so hard and so far before she lost the strength to believe. Her conviction in God had evaporated the second she saw Elliot's accusing stare as he held a baby that obviously wasn't his. He let her marriage fall apart, He let Elliot refuse to come home, He let that man attack her, but He couldn't even give her a pale baby that she could at least pass off to be Elliot's.

No, if there was a God, He obviously lacked any compassion or mercy for Kathy, so she saw no reason to believe in Him any longer.

All she wanted was a release from the cruel life she was being forced to live. After she woke up from the sedative the doctors had given her, her first thoughts had been contemplating suicide. Even when Olivia first walked into her room, she'd been tossing the notion around in her head. In her opinion there was nothing tangible stopping her. She had nothing left. Her marriage was over, Maureen was on her own, Kathleen was just about there, the _twins_ didn't even need her, over the past nine months she'd pushed away anyone else that had cared about her, and she refused to spend the rest of her life staring at _his_ child. Before could ever try, though, something always stopped her. She just couldn't do it for whatever unconscious reason.

She may have been stuck with every other horrible aspect of her life, but there was no way that she was going to be stuck with that baby. To her, it was the embodiment of everything bad and evil in her world, and she would not be attached to it for the rest of her life.

She'd completely meant it when she told Olivia to take it, that she and that baby were two of a kind. In her eyes, _everything_ about then was akin, not just their conception.

Besides, any woman, any _mother_, could read Olivia like a book. The first time she met her, she saw the suppressed longing in her eyes when an eight-year-old Lizzie had run into the room and clung to her legs, seeking protection from Dickie and whatever small, six-legged menace he'd captured. She could see at that moment and any other time in which she interacted with her children in front of Olivia that the female detective wanted a child.

_So, there,_ Kathy inwardly shrugged. _Congratulations, she can have one just like her. They can be miserable at what they are together, instead of being alone._

Her breath hitched at that last word. Alone. If there were ever a better word to describe what she felt at that moment, she'd certainly never come across it in her forty some odd years of speaking English. She was completely and utterly alone, and could never remember feeling so hopeless.

Kathy flopped over on the bed and grabbed a pillow. She hugged it tight against her chest as sobbed, her body shaking. That pillow felt like the only tangible thing in her life at that moment and, pathetic as it was, she couldn't bear the thought of losing it too.

* * *

Sucking in a big gulp of air, Olivia managed to compose herself, wiping away her last tear. Just in time, a nurse appeared from around the corner of the hallway.

"Excuse me, could I get a bottle for him?" She motioned to the upset baby in her arms. "He's pretty hungry, but his mom, my sister," she nodded to the door behind her, "is getting a well deserved nap and 

I don't have the heart to wake her." She plastered a phony smile on her face, perfect to match the lies she was rattling off.

"Oh, sweetie, of course," the woman assured her with pat on the shoulder. "I'll go get you one right away."

"Thank you," Olivia replied, sincere gratitude in her voice.

"It's no problem." She placed a hand on her back and motioned for her to follow. "Why don't I show you to the nursery? You can grab a seat and relax. You look exhausted." Clear concern was scattered throughout her words.

"Oh, I'm fine," she lied again.

After they covered a few more small talk topics, Olivia finally found herself settled into an oversized chair in a cozy little room, clearly designed for accommodating small children and their parents. Multiple chairs scattered the walls, and the floor was covered in soft carpet, topped with piles of books and toys. As she held a bottle to the mouth of the finally content little baby boy, she tried to focus on anything other than what Kathy had said to her. Luckily, a distraction in the form of a Candy Striper walked into the nursery.

"Aw, is that little Isaac?" She grinned at stared at the blue in Olivia's arms.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, is that not him?" Her face fell a bit. "Sorry, he just looks a lot like a baby I saw this morning. See, I went to this woman's room to finish filling out her baby's birth certificate. She didn't have a name picked out, though, so she asked me what I thought would be a good one. I'd just heard about Isaac Hayes passing away, so I told her I thought Isaac was a good name, and she said it was fine." Her nose scrunched up in puzzlement for a moment, but her face quickly smoothed back into a smile. "It was kind of weird, but I've never named anything aside from a few hermit crabs I had when I was a kid, so I thought it was pretty cool."

Olivia couldn't help but smile as the young volunteer babbled on with her story. It suddenly hit her, though, that she probably _was_ holding "Isaac."

"Was the woman's name Kathy?"

"Yeah! Kathy Stabler. So that _is_ little Isaac?"

"Yeah, that's my sister," she repeated, knowing it was best to keep the same story with everyone.

"Aww, can I hold him for a second?" She eagerly opened her arms questioningly.

"Sure." As Olivia gingerly transferred Isaac between arms, Kathy's words came tumbling back to her. Watching the girl softly speaking in a "baby talk" accent and beaming at the baby, she couldn't help but 

wonder how she'd be treating him if she knew who his father was, how "little Isaac" came to be. She shook her head, attempting to clear her mind.

It wasn't really Kathy's words that had upset Olivia so much; it was more personal than that. She'd heard harsh words directed at her all her life, and sometimes she'd even heard hurtful things about her own conception from the few people she had told. No, it wasn't that at all.

When Kathy had said that Isaac was just like her, she knew how true those words were. They were both conceived in hate and a reminder of the worst night of their mothers' life. So, as much as she had in common with the little baby that the Candy Striper had finally returned to her arms, their moms had just as much in common with each other.

It was that fact, those likenesses, which had upset her so much. Every time Kathy had called the baby an _it, _a _thing,_ or a _monster_, Olivia felt like she was staring into the face of her mother, talking about _her_. Every insult felt like salt in the wounds that her alcoholic mother had left behind. She was flashed back to her days as a child, every night her mom drank herself into a stupor, blaming every drink on the young girl's existence.

Supporting Isaac in one arm, Olivia dug her cell phone out of her slacks with the other. Without even looking at the phone, she mindlessly tapped a few buttons and held it to her ear.

"Captain?"

* * *

**A/N:** It's way too fun to write Kathy crazy. I don't even have much of a problem with her, it just always seems to work out perfectly to do it. But at least I gave her a reason and a little retribution, 'cause I always end up feeling guilty.. (Oh, and I know some of the hospital stuff is pushing it, and/or I will _continue_ to push it, but my imagination is stubborn. And it _is_ fiction.) Oh, so, did I deliver? Did it "pick up" for you? ;D


End file.
